CAKE REACHING FIRESTORM PROPORTIONS!

With the addition of just one more candle, it has been reported that a firestorm cake has been sighted on the outskirts of the city of Ankara, Turkey today. Sources in the area report that the individual responsible is one Zachary Balon. His birth 32 years ago is the root cause of this conflagration which is beginning to burn out of control. The glow can be observed from the city center. There have been reports of hot, gooey icing flooding down the streets as a result. Evacuations began early today, mainly of young children, who could be seen licking the sidewalks, telephone poles, and fire hydrants as the sugary tidal wave cooled along the edges of it's firery path. It is thought that this disaster may have far reaching effects for the future in the form of scorched trees and massive dental bills for the Turkish people. There is talk that birthday cakes may be banned and that the shish kebab will take their place as the birthday celebratory food of choice for the Turkish nation.