Winter in Turkey
We have been getting a lot of snow this week. Isabelle got to make her first snowman which was a lot of fun!
Personally, life just kinda feels weird for me. One of our pastors that we were very close to from our church in Oregon came to spend 4 days with us. The day he left I found myself feeling "weird", can't quite explain it. A piece of my old "world" was right there smacking me in the face.....it was like the life I knew before that I had tried to push aside or maybe even forget was there before me in a real person....all my remembrances of life in Oregon (which I loved desperately) came rushing back to me. And when he left, I felt a deep sadness. How do I work thru these two worlds? Two lives? Is it possible to keep both in my heart? I'm not sure....I'm working thru it.....And to be honest, a part of me is a bit terrified to come home this summer. Will I be undoing all the hard work I've put in to make Turkey home?
laura
posted by Zach & Laura at
8:32 AM
8 Comments:
I understand what you mean. Sometimes I think it's a matter of wanting what you've already got (in life) or not wanting what you haven't got. I've been really trying to come to terms with that myself lately, For me, I think it requires opening myself more, being vulnerable enough to accept life daily for what it is. Sometimes it's just easier to live out the day to day shielded from things in a protective stance; I think it's instinctual for me sometimes. Contentment, I'm finding, comes from a right degree of acceptance.
In other words: "Shit, I might as well be happy today."
When we were home in December and part of January I thoroughly enjoyed everything - my family, the dashing from warm car through icy cold into the warm house, having lunch in the predictable comfort of Panera Bread, going to the library, driving down Washington Street, the diversity of my friends and the ease of relating developed over the years... on and on. It was a little scary. I was REALLY enjoying myself and yet I knew we would soon be leaving for yet a deeper investment of ourselves in Mexico. I felt concerned that in some way I was betraying the new place God was calling us - how can you have your heart in two different places? I felt like He not only gave me permission but encouraged me to totally BE where I was at, at the moment. Like it's not wrong to live in two worlds, just embrace the one you're in and enjoy the one you're not to the extent that it gives you joy and not heart disatisfaction. That is the choice I think Matthew was talking about - some days we choose to be happy. It doesn't just happen to us.
First of all that picture belongs on the front of a magazine cover. That is the cutest picture! I can't really relate all that much but I do know that the time that I will have with you guys makes me excited now. I say that to say I can't wait to see you when you do come.
The picture really is amazing!
It is precious! Is there anyway we can get a copy? I agree, she's covergirl material!
If you right click on the picture you can "save photo as" and save it to your computer. That's what we did :)
You'll be Ok Laura. Try to love your time at home the most you can and then leave it at home. I know you are a nostalgia girl like I am, but maybe you will feel encouraged and refreshed and ready to go at the end of your trip rather than sad and longing to stay.
I don't know if two worlds CAN exist without pulling you apart in the end.
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